


sir, this is not a petting zoo

by soffgluten



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: BASICALLY flug steals an overgrown goldfish and chaos ensues, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Maybe - Freeform, Science Experiments, Threats of Violence, for a wild fuckin ride ive no idea whats gonna happen on, hooo boy here we go, i dont know what the fuck to tag these as, not really wild but, sorry in advance to anyone paying attention to the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14259528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soffgluten/pseuds/soffgluten
Summary: Flug steals a miniature eldritch from a science research facility. It goes about just as well as you’d expect.





	sir, this is not a petting zoo

**Author's Note:**

> beta'ed by the wonderful [ShittyDinner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShittyDinner/) (read the end notes pls!)
> 
> i've no idea where im going with this but hopefully itll go... _somewhere_

Flug picked lint off his coat, leveling a cool stare at Dementia as she zipped around excitedly, shrieking occasionally at whatever item had caught her attention. They were surrounded by a hall of massive shelves, filled with all sorts of biological samples and whatnot. The lights above them flickered dimly, casting eerie, muted silhouettes through the containers of liquid that lined their path. There was little light peeking through the dense jars, making them seem like shadows as they moved across the floor.

 

Flug tsked at the poor lighting conditions, but didn't comment on them as they soon approached a massive bunker door.

 

Dementia let out a long whistle. "This the door ya want me to bust, Doc?" She turned to him, excited grin already overtaking her face. When Flug had asked for her help with breaking into a research facility, she had initially refused, stating "but that's so boring, Doc!" When he told her that she could use explosives (" _ Only _ this time, Dementia, and with caution!") and whatever other means she wanted to, she had lit up like a Christmas tree, manic laughter overtaking her as she began fantasizing about all the possible ways she could wreak havoc upon the poor building.

 

Flug had forbidden her from touching anything besides the barriers standing in their way, as he didn't want such precious samples going to waste. While he didn't particularly care about the scientific community as a whole (he could make do himself, thank you), he recognized potential when he saw it, thus leading to his decision. Dementia had been complaining for the entirety of the trip, more-so than usual, but Flug had brushed her off with promises of thick vault doors and dynamite.

 

Perhaps he shouldn't have told her so, because before him stood the utterly ruined scraps of what once used to be a thick steel vault.

 

The doctor let out a shriek, racing over to the ruined site to see whether the surrounding areas were damaged or not. There were a few pieces of debris scattered around the floor, and some were lodged in the nearby wall or protective glass, but thankfully there wasn't anything irreparable. Flug shot an annoyed look at the lizard girl by his side, and she only shrugged innocently, already hauling out another explosive. Flug signalled her to stop as he entered into the safe room, taking a brief look around when his eyes settled on what he was looking for.

 

_ There. _ A bit off to the side of the vault stood a giant aquarium tank, the walls around it bathed in a faint blue-green light from the light shining through it. The water was murky, masking the contents within, but Flug  _ knew _ it was just what he was looking for.

 

"Deme, come here!" he called upon her, deploying his helper bots in the process. Coming prepared with robots has always helped, Flug had found, whether it was for running away from pesky heroes or helping him take out guards. This was no different, as within moments the robots had surrounded the corners of the tank, some even slipping underneath to prop it up. "Careful, careful, careful," he cooed quietly, crouching down to scoot them back into proper formations.

 

Hearing Dementia's confused sounds behind him, Flug turned to her, one hand propped on the glass. "What is this, Flugg-o man? Don't tell me you're going around stealing dirty pools!"

 

"What? No," the front of his paper bag scrunched up as he continued, "No, Dementia, this is actually the container for one very  _ important _ creature--"

 

"Pbfft! You and your 'important creatures'," she stuck her tongue out at him. "You know Black Hat doesn't allow pets anymore, not after 5.0.5.!"

 

" _ Dem _ ," Flug sighed. "It's  _ not _ a pet. 5.0.5. isn't one either. Just, look--", he turned around, pulling a small screen device out of his coat pocket to fiddle with. After a moment, he extended his arm to show the display to Dementia, snatching it back in time before she could take the device into her own hands. "Just look from here, dammit!  _ That's _ what's contained within."

 

Upon meeting silence, Flug turned an inquisitive eye towards her, seeing her staring starry-eyed at the picture shown. "Wh- Are you FOR REAL?! That's, like,  _ so cool! _ " she gasped, grabbing at the display, to which the doctor just shook his head and pocketed the device. "It looks like a miniature Black Hat when he transforms! It's sooo cute," she whined, and Flug chose to ignore the last bit.

 

"Mhmmm. Which is why I'm taking this," he pointed a thumb at the box behind him, "with me. Now help me haul it back.  _ Carefully. _ "

 

Nodding enthusiastically at him, they got to work.

 

* * *

 

 

It went, dare he say,  _ swimmingly _ well.

 

The tank now secured safely within his lab, Flug was finally able to retire for the night. He said night, but the beginnings of daybreak were already starting to show when he and Dementia finally returned to the manor.

 

With a quiet sigh, Flug flicked off his laboratory lights and stared into the darkness. The light from the doorway glinted off his steel tools, but besides that the lab didn't have any other light sources. Wordlessly, he closed the laboratory door and turned around, for all intents and purposes, done for the day.

 

It seemed like his boss thought otherwise.

 

"Well hello, Dr. Flug," Black Hat purred in front of him. The doctor froze, a strangled yelp escaping him at the jumpscare. By now, he'd grown perfectly accustomed to Black Hat's odd appearing habits, but a whole night of sleeplessness and no coffee left his mind in an inadequate state.

 

"B-boss! I, uh, I-I was just-", he swallowed past the lump in his throat, "I was just about to close the lab for today," he stated quietly. Black Hat gave him an equally unimpressed and scathing look, to which Flug leveled his stare as he straightened his back. "Listen, jefe, I just spent the entire previous day working, and the night by breaking into a high-security science facility and hauling back an incredibly heavy container - all without the aid of coffee. I might not look it, but I  _ am _ simply human," Flug made an attempt to pass Black Hat, but was stopped by a strong grip upon his arm, squeezing dangerously hard. Flug let out a hiss.

 

"Where do you think you're going?" his boss seethed, all sharp teeth and acidic saliva and death glares. He could probably see his reflection in Flug's goggles, but nothing more than that. They didn't reflect Flug's growing annoyance and adrenaline back at his boss, but they did communicate one thing: indifference.

 

"I'm going to bed," Flug turned his head away, towards the hall. "Good night."

 

The grip turned unbearable for a split moment, making Flug see white out of the corners of his eyes - but before he could even yell the sensation disappeared, as did Black Hat.

 

He would stand in the hallway for a few more moments, the beating of his heart rushing in his ears until it stilled into regular soft beats, a weird feeling pulsing throughout him. Eventually, he'd shake himself off and let his feet guide him to his room via muscle memory, but for now he'll just stand and listen to the soft creaks and hums of the house as Black Hat presumably moved like a shadow around it.

**Author's Note:**

> hopefully that isnt too short for now! ive got a vague idea of the next few chapters in mind, but nothing too concrete
> 
> ON THE TOPIC OF BETAS: im actually looking for someone to help at least partially-beta this little fic!! while [ShittyDinner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShittyDinner/) is absolutely _amazing_ (no, seriously!), theyre busy a lot with their own fics and our timezones don't match up really well! if anyone would be interested in helping me proofread and bounce ideas off, @ mention over at the villainous discord server @chillin or at my villainous tumblr!
> 
>  
> 
>   
> [villaill.tumblr.com](https://villaill.tumblr.com/)


End file.
